An Unwilling Widow
  • Chronicles of an Unwilling Widow

What God Has Joined Together...

6/2/2015

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Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us. -  Oscar Wilde

 

I got a tattoo yesterday.  In honor of my husband.  It’s beautiful, an ornate cross with a rose in full bloom.  It has his name and the words “As You Wish”.  Princess Bride fans will immediately recognize the reference.

I love my tattoo….and I hate it.

I love the tattoo itself, the composition, the detail, everything about it.  But I hate the reason I have it.

Do I regret getting it?  No.  Because I want people to see it, I want people to ask me about him, I want people to look at the Princess Bride reference so that I can tell them about what it means.

For those who are unfamiliar with The Princess Bride, I will give you a brief synopsis.

The Princess Bride is the ultimate love story.  It has pirates, evil princes, heroes, giants, vengeance and most of all – true love.  The sort of love that people pray for, strive for, hope for.  The sort of love I and my husband had…have. 

In the story, Wesley (the hero) always says “As you wish.” to Buttercup (the princess) when she orders him about.  After a while she realizes that he is in love with her and she is in love with him.  She learns that each time he said, “As you wish.”  He was really saying “I love you.”

Theirs is a love that has no bounds.  It is that magical feeling of being whole when you are together.

You should rent the movie.

The Princess Bride was one of my husband’s favorite movies and when I would ask him to do something, he would turn to me with a twinkle in his eye, smile and say, “As you wish.”  I knew that he was really saying and I still remember the warmth and love I felt when he said that to me.

So when people who are unfamiliar with the story ask me about my tattoo, I can tell them about a love story that surpassed even the greatest love story ever told.  My story.

Just as in the story itself, everything wasn’t always perfect.  We had disagreements, we even had one or two fights.  But they never lasted more than an hour or so and were extremely rare.  And no matter how angry we were at each other, we were always very careful of what we said.  Neither of us wanted to say something in anger that was used only to score a point or hurt each other.

I know that many are skeptical when I say this.  They may think that I am glossing over any of the bad moments, or exaggerating or white washing our relationship to make it seem idealistic.  But those who know us, would agree with my recollections.  Those who know us could see how much we were perfect for each other.

Because I honestly cannot remember the last time we had a fight.  Instead, I have countless memories of love, togetherness.  Feeling safe when I would lean against him and he would put his arm around me.  Feeling secure that together we could overcome any obstacle, like in the Princess Bride.

I’m lucky that when I look back on my marriage, on those wonderful days, I can look back with love.  What I remember is a love story.  Best friends, lovers, partners.  I had not realized how empty I was until I met my husband.  Together we made a whole.  We fit together perfectly.

Even now, while writing this, I can feel the deep love I have for my husband.  I can feel the warmth of his deep love he had for me.  Even death could not take that away.  I want people to know how wonderful my life was with him.  How much I miss him.  How much I love him.

That is why I got my tattoo.  So when people see it and ask what it means.   I can simply say – “Let me tell you about the greatest love story of all.  My story of true love.”

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    Beth is an ordinary woman who has found herself to be in an un-ordinary situation.  She wanted to chronicle the journey of widowhood for others who happen to find themselves on the same path.  The good and the bad.

    Past Posts

    All
    01/15/16 Tomorrow's Reality...
    01/27/16 One Year
    02/10/15 What Is A Widow
    02/11/15 On Becoming A Widow...
    02/12/15 Bubble Bubble Toil And...
    02/13/15 On A Pale Horse...
    02/17/15 A Single Cup Of Coffee...
    02/18/15 With Mirth And Laughter...
    02/19/15 Blunt Not The Heart...
    02/20/15 Of Mice And Men...
    02/23/15 To Lay To Rest...
    02/24/15 Sounds Of Silence...
    02/27/15 Partnership Of One...
    03/02/15 O Happy Dagger!
    03/03/15 Perish The Thought...
    03/04/15 We Are Time's Subjects...
    03/06/15 What's In A Name...
    03/09/15 A Bad Interpretation...
    03/11/15 The Fickleness Of Feelings...
    03/12/15 Creatures Great And Small...
    03/19/15 But Thinking Makes It So...
    03/25/15 As Time Goes By...
    04/02/15 More Things In Heaven And Earth...
    04/13/15 The Quality Of Strength...
    04/21/15 Right Inside My Heart...
    04/27/16 Never Simple...
    04/29/15 With Great Love...
    05/01/17 What Do You Know Of Fear?
    05/09/16 The Folly Of Anger...
    05/11/15 A Walking Shadow...
    05/21/15 A Birthday Wish...
    05/30/2015 The World-Wearied Flesh...
    06/02/2015 What God Has Joined Together...
    06/03/15 Lost Possibilities...
    06/10/15 In Spirit Met Thy Well...
    07/16/15 A Broken Unbroken Circle...
    07/28/15 A Love So Strong...
    08/05/15 A Sparrow's Fall...

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